Breakup Advice

One of the most important areas of breakup advice is advice on getting over a broken heart.

After a breakup, people may experience a spectrum of emotions ranging from joy or relief at being free to extreme pain that makes it difficult to function. If you are one of those experiencing the more unpleasant side of the breakup emotions, we will be providing support and answers for you on this website over time.

The first question to ask in getting over a broken heart is “What exactly does my broken heart actually represent?” You see, ‘broken heart’ is a very vague term that is used to describe what are in reality several different conditions. These conditions most commonly include healthy heartbreak, depression and relationship addiction withdrawal.

The distinction between these three forms of breakup pain was explored in depth in an earlier piece called “Is it Healthy Heartbreak, Depression or Relationship Addiction Withdrawal?”

The pain of a breakup may also stem, to some extent, from and bring awareness of other underlying conditions ranging from personality and mood disorders to the manifestations of unresolved past abuse or abandonment.

It is important to distinguish which of these conditions is actually behind your experience of a broken heart.

The first secret to getting over a broken heart, then, is that, in order to know the best treatment or action to take to resolve the pain, you need an accurate diagnosis of what underlies that pain. Not all breakup pain is the same!

The second secret to getting over a broken heart is that, in most cases, the goal should not simply be to ‘get over it’, per se. The goal should really be to use the broken heart as a launching pad to longer term health. You see, if you ‘get over’ a broken heart by simply drowning out, suppressing or denying the pain, it may only go underground to haunt you later in various ways. The key to truly getting over it is to undergo healthy grief and healing.

In the future we will discuss more about this important and eternal relationship issue. For now, these two keys will set you on the right path toward getting over a broken heart in the healthiest way possible.