Breakup Advice

Coping with breakups can be challenging. Breakups have the potential to simultaneously crush our hopes and dreams and trigger our deepest insecurities and fears. Yet, while some are lucky enough to marry their first love and stay married for life, most of us will at some point have to face the prospect of coping with breakups.

There are several factors that can help make the process of dealing with a breakup as optimal as it can be, including:

• Take the time and have the necessary communication to decide if you want to attempt to restore the relationship or begin the process of moving on. It will be easier to cope once you’ve made a final decision on this matter, however you will need to strike a balance between cutting off a potentially salvageable relationship too soon and dragging out a hopeless one too long.

• Expect the breakup to bring an array of emotions and allow yourself to grieve.

• Be aware that within the emotions raised by a breakup there often lie extremely important lessons about you, your identity, your past, and how you should proceed in the future. Try to look more deeply into and underneath these feelings to explore what messages they are trying to bring to your awareness.

• Use the period in which you are coping with a breakup as a time to potentially slow down and seek resources that you might otherwise not at other times. These can include finding healthy support groups, a talented therapist, or books that can give you insight into your relationship patterns right at the most teachable moment. We especially recommend Keeping the Love You Find as an excellent resource to read during any breakup period.

This is not an exhaustive list and, of course, much more can be shared about each of these points. But if you consider these factors and approaches, it can make coping with breakups, while still painful, a process that can ultimately improve your life.